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Listen. Listen. Listen. Learn to discern the hurt behind the anger. Anger is a secondary emotion. When anger occurs it is because the person experienced an unpleasant, painful, or threatening event. ADHDer's are sensitive, even if it doesn't appear that they are (they mask their true feelings very well). Humiliation and shame and criticism are such a part of their inner self-talk that they don't need to hear it from others. When hurt feelings occur and anger is the response, focus on the hurt behind the wall of anger.