ADD-ADHD Tips

The Gift of the Sensitive Child

This child brings the idea of how to work with exquisitely fine-tuned feelings to the table and he or she elevates it to an art form. The heart-on-the-sleeves type have much to teach us in a time when the culture has grown coarser and more vulgar.

These sensitive children can detect the most subtle shifts in the environment. Food and drink preferences may emerge at an early age and persist throughout life. Sounds, noises, and crying can disturb them profoundly. Clothing labels must be removed because of skin sensitivities. These children's sense of smell is heightened and they often report "odors" not especially noticeable to you. Grief, sadness, hurt feelings and the like do not escape their notice.

If you are dealing with a sensitive child, be responsive to the changes they need in the environment. What may seem like a normal noise level to you is a brass band to them. Talk with your child about how they are experiencing the world. It may open your eyes to a whole new way of seeing the world.

The Gift of the Challenging Child

Believe it or not, the day may come when your "challenging child's" behavior pays off. Never the type to accept rules or limits easily, always questioning motives and wanting to know "why" things have to be a certain way, what they are actually seeking is a new, better, or different way to do something.

When this gift is used to its highest potential, breakthroughs can happen in technology, science, the arts, medicine or law. The strategy is for adults not to personalize the behavior but rather figure out what the child's goal is (other than to have his own way.) Pioneers may have had some degree of this trait. It takes a strong will to persevere against the odds. This is a perfectly good tool when your child blends it with restraint and clarity.

The Gift of the Talker & Doer

"Talk, talk, talk. My child never seems to stop talking, except maybe when she is asleep, and I'm not sure she stops then!"

The talker and/or the doer is passionate about life. They seem to have an endless list of questions and boundless energy to pursue them with a white hot intensity.

Believe it or not, we actually enjoy and pay for people to talk to us. We call them Talk Show Hosts and Entertainers. They are well paid, and they tend to endear themselves to us. So talking does have its upside. Likewise, we pay to watch "doers" do their thing. These busy types make life fun, interesting, and dynamic. Doers don't wait for life to happen. They make things happen. They live so fully, authentically, and passionately that they will probably have few regrets when it comes time to tally up the activity scorecard.

Teach your child how to harness these wonderful gifts. It may take a while to get these dynamos to slow down, so be prepared to teach this skill over and over again. Repetition is a large part of your relationship with your child, so make it work for both of you!

The Gift of Ideas

ADD and ADHD children seem to be born with ideas - all kinds. Rarely do they meet an idea that they do not like. Support your child's interest in ideas. Ideas are the birthplace for all kings of essential things: buildings, houses, products, technologies, and services. Enroll your child in camps that cater to his or her preferences, if available.

Be proud of your "thinker," and comment in a positive way to him or her often. Compliment his or her amazing ideas. Support his or her dreams and plans.

The Gift of Tenacity

Many parents lament the fact that their child is "stubborn as a mule." Stubborn is another way of saying that your child is determined and will stay the course. This skill is especially useful in college, trade school, and when well used and purposeful, life in general. A physician that will not give up on a baffling medical case, or a defense attorney doggedly looking for exculpatory evidence, or a parent determined to make life better for his or her child - these are purposeful goals.

Teach your child how to work with this trait. Teach him or her how to use this gift wisely. Power struggles are not a wise use of this gift, persisting until a project is completed well, is. Persisting and enduring in the years it takes to acquire education and skills are the ultimate showcase for the gift of tenacity.