Reality is Our Friend

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How can I manage my stress when the school calls several times in a row?

Reality is Our Friend

One of the signatures of Attention Deficit Disorder is distractibility. Paradoxically, most children are quite good at hyperfocusing (paying intense attention) on whatever they are the most fascinated with at the time: electronic games, dinosaurs, computers or sports. It is easy to assume that because they can focus so intensely in some circumstances, they ought to be able to do this in all situations. This is not so.

Be realistic in your expectations of what a child with Attention Deficit Disorder can and cannot do on a consistent basis. Some days will be better than others. Some days the child will manage to stay "on task" easily and "remember" important details, other days they can't seem to remember the simplest routines. When the school calls and asks you to come in to discuss the latest controversy with your child for the third time, it's not going to be your best day. Bad days do pass. Unrealistic expectations for what your child can reasonably manage at one time can only lead to frustration and anxiety when the parent's agenda overrides the child's capabilities. Expectations that exceed a child's ability can create unnecessary burdens for the child and everyone concerned.



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Linda Handiak